Not All Battles Should Be Fought

Photo by Nils Hendrik Mueller

In your life, you'd come across people who disagree with you, who wants to destroy you, harm you, steal from you and so on.  That's just part of life. No matter what you do, you won't be able to please everybody. It's not unusual for you to make enemies along the way, especially if you're succeeding.

I know it will be hard not to get into with them, especially if they get personal with their attack on you. But before you give in to the temptation of arguing defending yourself, you should carefully choose first the battle that you'll fight in. Because not all battles should be fought. There are certain battles that no matter if you win or lose, you'd still end up losing in the end.

But which battle should you avoid fighting in? Bro. Bo Sanchez shared a list of people that you shouldn't fight and why you shouldn't fight them in one of his WealthStrategies. I'd like to share that list with you and also add some of my own:

1. Don't fight people who are envious of you - As you become successful in life, a lot of people will become envious of you. And most of them, unfortunately, will be your ex-friends who will criticize you because you're richer than them. It won't matter if you worked hard for it, to them you're the enemy because you are rich. You are not one of them anymore. The hate here is fueled by envy and the only way they won't hate you anymore is if they are not envious of you. So it's really a lose-lose situation for you. Because no matter what you say, how much you defend yourself, you're still the enemy as long as you are rich and they are not.
2. Don't fight people who don't repay debts - This is another lose-lose situation for you. There are people who will borrow money from you but won't pay you back. You'd just be wasting your time and energy if you go into battle with them. Because, more often than not, they don't have the money to pay you back. No matter how much you argue with them, if they don't have the money, they don't have the money. Instead of straining your voice and relationship fighting them, just don't lend anymore money. If you really want to help them, just give them money and that's it.
3. Don't fight people who do harm to you when you are bitter - Bro. Bo's original list here is to not fight people who steal from you. But I want to make it more general by saying not to fight people who harm you, because the message applies here. It's easy to get angry and bitter at people who do any kind of harm to you, either they steal from you, hurt you, and so on. But you wouldn't want to carry the poison of bitterness within you, it won't do you any good. Instead of becoming bitter, forgive the person, then you can fire or even file a case against the person. But don't do it because of bitterness, do it because you want to teach the person a lesson out of concern. Being bitter doesn't really do anyone any good. But if you're concerned, you show care and love to the person, which would have a more positive impact.
4. Don't fight people who block your dreams - A lot of people would oppose your dream because they have no idea what you are doing. It's tempting to argue and debate with them and show them that what you're trying to accomplish is a good thing. Believe me it's pointless to do that. Arguing or debating is not a good way to make a person see your point of view. Instead, befriend them, invite them for lunch or coffee, be nice to them and so on. If you befriend them, they would be more inclined to listen and try to see what you're trying to do. It's easier to see something in a more pleasant and appealing environment, than when in an argument and conflicting environment.
5. Don't fight people who misunderstand you - I'd like to add this to the list of battles that you should avoid. I believe that misunderstanding is one of the primary reason for a lot of arguments. But fighting and arguing is a very bad way to make people understand something. People are more inclined to defend their point of view instead of listening to what you're trying to say in an argument. Instead of  arguing, try to understand them first. Look through their point of view and see where they are coming from. Doing so, will show that you listen to them, acknowledge their stance and understand where they are coming from. Once they see that, they are more inclined to do the same. Look at your point of view and try to understand where you are coming from.

It's easy and tempting to fight and argue with people who disagree and attack us. But not all battles are worth fighting for. You should choose carefully what battle that you're going to get into. Remember not everything can be resolved through fighting. More often, conflicts can be resolved without the need to fight.